So with today being Easter my wife, Shea, and I had to do a little bit of driving to see different family members. So for this car ride I brought along the ole ipod so we could discover what today's song would be. It was the first time that I shared the experience with someone else. Usually it's just me in the car (or in one case sitting on my chair with my headphones on) waiting and listening to see what's about to be my writing inspiration for the day. In order to spice things up I even had Shea hit the shuffle button. This way if the song that played sucked I could shrug off all responsibility because I didn't shuffle it (this is a lie because everyone knows I put all of these songs on my ipod. It is also a lie because I was excited to have Shea involved in the project). Here's what happened:
My history with Counting Crows is a bit storied. Growing up I never was a huge Counting Crows fan, I mean I loved Mr. Jones and Round Here and Hangin' Around but I never would have considered myself to be a fan. I was alright with my casual listening. When I went to college I met a girl, and this girl happened to be a huge Counting Crows fan. We started hanging out and eventually started seeing each other so I was around the music a lot more. I actually started to like the music. It was good, it was emotional. Actually it was very emotional, to the point of being depressing. If you take the time to listen to the majority of Counting Crows lyrics the stories he's telling are crushing. It's hard to believe that one person could share so many depressing thoughts with his audience, but it's true.
I didn't mind though because the girl was a big fan and like I said I was growing to enjoy them. Well as my relationship with this girl continued I picked up on a couple of things. For starters she had a lot of personal demons and one of the ways she coped with them was through music. One of the bands she used the most to cope happened to be Counting Crows. I was quickly able to pick up on her mood by what Counting Crows song was being played. After awhile this all started to seep into my psyche and I wasn't listening to Counting Crows because I liked the music, I was listening to them because it expressed my mood (which as the relationship went on was pretty low). It came to the point where I was feeling really, really shitty. I mean it's twelve o'clock in the morning and I'm calling my parents in tears for no reason, shitty. So I ended things with the girl. I needed to get back to being me.
Well my relationship with Counting Crows kind of ended for a bit there. I couldn't listen to them without getting this feeling in the pit of my stomach. You know how sometimes if you smell things it takes you back to a moment or place? Well listening to Counting Crows songs or albums brought me back to those moments where I was at my lowest, so I stopped listening to them (because to be honest who wants to relive those types of feelings). I needed to get away from those feelings and from those moments so Counting Crows got left on the back burner.
When I got my ipod I put my Counting Crows albums on there (because I still did like some of the music) and continued not listening to them or maybe listening to a song of theirs on occasion. As time went on I found the more I heard their songs the less I was thinking about those times in my life. I was starting to separate those memories from the music, and was actually starting to enjoy the band again. I found this to be a good thing, a sign of growing up maybe. Don't get me wrong there are still a handful of their songs I can't listen to at all because they give me this nasty knot in my stomach (Colorblind and Amy Hit the Athmosphere make me want to jump out a window).
It just goes to show as you grow up bands and their music start to take on different meanings and different feelings. Do I listen to Counting Crows on a regular basis? No. Do I cringe when one of their songs comes on my ipod? No, not any more. I actually have a bunch of their songs that I've grown to love. But I guess when I hear them my first thought is "is this one of their songs that makes me want to puke", and most of the time I come to the conclusion that it's not. I see this as a moral victory.
Any way today's song comes from their live double album, Across A Wire. To be honest I've seen Counting Crows live and they're not the greatest live band ever. Actually it was one of the more depressing shows I've seen (I even met Adam Duritz at the show and he was very blegh). For example Adam Duritz starts talking about a song that will be coming up on the new album. It's about this girl he used to date and how they had an on again off again relationship. Well this girl gets pregnant and they're going to keep the baby, and he's battling with his emotions on how he feels about it (mind you this is all the story leading up to the song). Finally he figures he's ready to be a dad and that he's excited, sadly that's when the girl has a miscarriage (I know) so this song is about him coping with that and it's called... Carriage. Ugh. Talk about sucking all the air out of the room. I wanted to go the bathroom and cry not "rock out" to a concert.
I'm Not Sleeping is a pretty good song (the best part of it is the "1-2-3-4..." part). Not my favorite of theirs but still a pretty good one. Actually the Recovering the Satellites album is pretty good (but even when I listened to Counting Crows it wasn't the record I would listen to the most). Sorry I had a tough time finding the live version so I posted the studio cut (just listen to the song because the video is kind of stupid too).
Any way I know that was a long way to go to say that the song is "pretty good", but I think my relationship with the band is more important then the song itself. I'm sure that another one of their songs will pop up during the journey and I'll be able to talk about that in more detail or relate it to a specific story. But for today this is it. I'm glad that I can listen to Counting Crows on occasion and not want to drive off a bridge, and I feel that it measures growing up a bit for me. Being able to put that time behind me is important because things have never been better.
Now that I've sucked all the air out of today allow me to continue with our Sunday tradition:
The Five Songs I Can't Live Without (At Least For This Week)-
1. Rolling In the Deep- Adele
2. Shotgun Willie- Willie Nelson
3. Delicate- Damien Rice
4. Under Cover of Darkness- The Strokes
5. Harder To Breathe- Maroon 5
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